“Won’t it be hard if…?”
It’s a question I’ve been asked several times. It comes from a stem of “what if” questions, asked by people who love me and are concerned about how some “what ifs” of the future might impact me. They know the pain the divorce caused me. To be more specific, not the divorce itself but the way in which the ending of the marriage was handled. The disrespect, betrayal, hurt, and refusal to process together cut deeply after over two and a half decades of a good, healthy marriage. The effects I’ve personally felt as well as those I’ve seen ripple through the lives of family and friends.
The “won’t it be hard” question nearly always follows a statement I make, usually starting with “I hope…”
Because I have hope for healthy conversations and healing for my ex and family and friends. I have hope for truth and discernment, for honesty and repentance. I have hope for God to be glorified…no matter what the future looks like.
But most of my hopes come with a cost of some potentially difficult, uncomfortable situations. Hence, the question “won’t it be hard if…?”
Yes, it will.
The answer is always “Yes, it probably will be hard.”
But a lot of things have been hard. That doesn’t mean I am willing to wish my hopes away. Good and growth can come out of hard stuff with the right humility, purpose, and focus.
So, I continue to hope, even when the hard is intertwined.