Divorce, My Life with God

Belonging Where I Don’t

photo-1563709428818-dae7b35b547fA new marriage small group is about to start at my church. I no longer fit into the demographic. I don’t belong to the group.

But I do.

I plan to serve by helping with childcare while parents attend the group. It wasn’t an easy decision. Maybe it should have been. “Someone needs help? Sure, I will jump in.” But the reality is it’s a bit uncomfortable for me. I’ll be watching married couples come and go – together. My together walked away. I’ll be watching couples as they commit to working alongside each other to better their relationships. The person I did life with decided not to work alongside me and ended the relationship.

But maybe that’s one of the reasons I decided to serve. I can’t attend the group, but I can encourage others who can. Some might not be able to attend if childcare isn’t available. I can help with that. As uncomfortable as it is, I can also be a reminder. Most people know my story, and seeing me serving might remind them to be intentional about their marriages. Also, seeing me might also remind them that some tough stuff will happen in life, but that doesn’t mean we have to lose faith, purpose, and generosity.

Yes, serving is going to be an awkward sacrifice for me, but it’s not as if I haven’t experienced plenty of awkwardness and sacrifice already. And I’ve repeatedly experienced not feeling as if I had the strength to do something but relying on God for the strength I need to do what I’m confident he wants me to do.

So, onward I go – with God.

My challenge to you today is to reconsider that hard thing you might feel unqualified for or uncomfortable about when you consider stepping forward. Taking that step might be exactly what your faith needs today.

1 thought on “Belonging Where I Don’t”

  1. Dear Susan

    I have just read your article “Belonging where I don’t”. How precious it is! Sometimes, it is so difficult to be involved in some activity you feel you don’t belong to, really. Thank you for your right perspective.

    My name is Bertina Tomé. I am Portuguese, Christian, clinical psychologist.

    My husband, Abel Tomé, and I were missionaries in Macao and in Mozambique for about 10 years. We have two daughters: Andreia, our biological daughter, and Melissa, our youngest, who is chinese. We adopted her when she was a baby, in Macao. All my family (mother, brother, sisters and their families) are living in USA.

    Back in Portugal, 14 years ago we launched a new project: Mulher Criativa, (Creative Woman), a Christian magazine for women. It was been very well received by churches of different denominations in Portugal and Portuguese-speaking African countries.

    On coming December we will finish this magazine project (we were feeling really tired, we prayed about it and we understand that now is the time to stop editing the magazine) , but we intend to prepare a devotional to be sent by e-mail on a regular basis and keep the magazine page, on Facebook, here: https://www.facebook.com/mulher.criativa.3/

    I would love to translate your article in Portuguese and edit it on our Facebook page, under your permission and conditions. I believe that it would be a blessing for many women (and men too, since they also visit our page).

    I look forward for your reply.

    May God bless you abundantly!

    Bertina Coias Tomé


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