Sometimes I just need to write. And sometimes, writing takes all the strength and focus I can muster.
Some feel the same way about talking, getting together with friends, reading, or something else that helps us connect and get some context and clarity.
Different things prompt my need to write. Sometimes the passion I have about something bubbles up and pours out best through my fingers on the keyboard. Other times, I’m in the middle of a hectic time. To sit down and catch my breath through writing feels similarly to getting my house clean and organized. It’s grounding and comforting. Then there are times my mind seems flooded with so many observations and experiences. I usually jot notes in an app as I experience something I want to reflect on later. Those jots come at different speeds, but when they are frequent and begin to pile up, I itch to sit down and write about some of them.
I enjoy writing, but I also struggle with it. Sometimes I don’t feel as if I can find the right words. Sometimes I don’t feel worthy to share. Sometimes I draw a blank.
I know I must always use a filter before I publish or share, but it is also important to not be paralyzed by a premature editing process. For example, when I drafted Fractured Into Wholeness, I wrote raw. I had to. My experiences wouldn’t have come out any other way. I felt as if my thoughts clumped and crawled out of me at times. But I kept the process going. However, not a single word of that early process was not looked at (by me and others). I knew it was important to keep the reality of the experiences, even in their chaotic and heart-wrenching state, while also being respectful to others. I didn’t want to cause stumbling or struggling because of how I shared my story. I couldn’t change my story; it needed to be the truth. But I could consider how others might experience it. More importantly, I could let God edit and position it.
Writing might not be the way you express and share, but you do express and share. We all do. Even our hesitancy to express and share reveals who we are and what we want.
If you’re in a place right now when you feel dry, shut down, or withdrawn, know you are not alone. Continue to lean forward. Find a word here and there to express what is happening. Reach out to at least one trustworthy person.
If you let everything around you flood into and through you so that you are haphazardly drenching others, float for a second and catch your breath. Invite someone else into your journey so you have intentional accountability. Begin to use the influence you have with others in well-directed ways.
If you feel unworthy to speak up and share, know that your worth does not come from your feelings. It comes from the one who created you and purposed your life.
If you find it hard to share the difficult stuff, start somewhere today. Your story matters. Share with as much health as you can, but be assured it’s a process. Expect change and anticipate growth. You can be better. We all can.
You do not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You cannot fix every problem. You cannot change everyone’s minds. But you can handle the influence you have—and each of us has influence whether we admit it or not—with humility, boldness, respect, courage, and truth.
We need each other to voice and to listen.