My Life with God

Not My Time

I wasn’t sure what was happening as my mind raced. Yes, my schedule was busy and my to-do list was long, but I teetered on being overwhelmed, and that wasn’t my typical response. I was hard on myself for a moment, thinking about the coping strategies I’d practiced over the years. But I didn’t spin for long, because I knew I was wasting precious time.

I paused.

Give it all to God.

Loud and clear, I knew it was what I was supposed to do. It was what I should have done earlier, but regret wasn’t productive at the moment. I need to respond to the prompt, not delay it any longer. And the reminder not only changed my day but my entire week.

Instead of trying to plan my day, instead of checking in with God every now and then throughout the day, I saturated it all with him. I paused more. I reflected more. I reset more. God is who got to determine how I spent time. He would determine how quickly or slowly the day would go. He would determine what would get checked off my list. I had a lot to do that week, but I needed to yield control of every bit of it. That’s not lackadaisical. It’s not indifference. It is a resolute humbling of self and willingness to be bold, patient, and persistent for God.

And some days it’s easier than others.

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