We sometimes want to fix or judge, yet that might not be the best option. It might not even be possible. If you try to fix when you can’t, you might make a bigger mess. When you judge when you shouldn’t, you likely miss out on something you weren’t willing to see.

There are times to fix, or at least help to fix. There are times to judge, which includes making sensible decisions and conclusions. But we have to at least attempt a wisdom of the right approach at the right time. We need to assess, consider, listen. We need to breathe. We need to decide.

Do we need to speak gently or speak firmly? Do we need to speak at all?

Do we need to ask more questions and spend more time before making a decision?

Do we need to support in the moment, knowing another opportunity for accountability will come?

Do we need to suggest, confront, or walk away?

Do we need to speak but in a different situation, perhaps privately or with a trustworthy witness?

We need a foundation to firmly stand on regardless of the situation. We can’t figure it all out, but if we have some consistency, we will lean toward the right (I’m in no way referring to politics—and I find it pitiful it’s difficult to use the word without spurring a political reference). For me, God is the foundation. No matter the situation, I want to point to him. I want to reflect him.

It’s not easy, but it’s good.

I’m not referring to a god on whom someone projects characteristics or baggage. I’m referring to the consistent God, whom I know well and also can get to know the rest of my life without understanding everything about him. My relationship with him is a juxtaposition of knowing and relying on the immutabilities of God while also accepting he is more than I know or imagine.

Sometimes I speak directly about him and our relationship. More often, I try to live a transparent faith. I hope people see him through me, even if they don’t realize or admit what they see. And it takes some trust, because I muddy the view a lot. I don’t reflect him accurately in every moment. He is bigger though. He is better. And he is capable. I’m glad.

So when I’m confident how to respond, it’s because of him, not me. When I’m unsure about how to respond, I rely on him through the process.

How should you respond? Know your why, or your who.

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