Perhaps you remember the post about temporarily losing our 17-year-old dog and my husband coming home to find him (A Hero). Well, my husband is once again my hero. Today we said goodbye to Jip after a traumatizing nearly 24 hours. He took care of all the details (a.k.a., the not-so-pleasant jobs) as well as me. Yet another reminder why I love him.

And that’s why the advice of a friend was so timely. It’s great when friends know you – and your marriage – well enough to know what to say and suggest through tough times. She Facebooked me to ask about Jip this morning, and when I told her the bad news, that Tim would be going to the vet’s, and I didn’t think I could go along, she briefly shared her own experiences and added,

My advice (if wanted!!)? Go with Tim but don’t go in the room. I will say a prayer for comfort for you all. It will indeed be a rough day.

I appreciated her advice for several reasons – all which I hope to apply when I advise others.

First, she didn’t dwell on her own story and try to make her efforts of comfort about herself. Perhaps you’ve experienced a situation when you’re vulnerable to someone, who in turn shares personal experiences that turn the entire focus on herself. Perhaps she is well-intentioned, but it might leave you wondering why you shared in the first place.

Second, my friend recognized I might not want her advice. As it turned out, it was the best advice I heard all day, but she didn’t know that at the time. She was generous enough to give me room to decide what was best, regardless of whether I took or ignored her advice.

Third, she knew me – and my relationship with my husband – well enough to foresee what might be best for both of us and our relationship. She knew the situation was hard on both of us and that we should go through it together…even if our paths and priorities differed slightly.

So I didn’t go to the vet’s, but I waited a block away at my husband’s office, so I could support him. I told him where I’d be and said, “I’ll tell you what. You be there for Jip. I’ll be there for you.” As difficult of a day that it was, we got through it together. When we sat in his office and Tim said he was glad I’d been there for him, I had to admit it wasn’t my idea. I gave credit to my wise and sensitive friend.

Be timely in your advice. You can make a big difference in someone’s life.

People enjoy giving good advice. Saying the right word at the right time is so pleasing. Proverbs 15:23

In loving memory of Jip. (Thanks for the photo, Courtney.)