Divorce, My Life with God

One Choice at a Time

screenshot_2019-01-01-16-10-36How does a marriage go from this post that recently popped up in my Timehop to divorce? And not the kind of divorce where two people have struggled to make something work, talked through their issues, opened themselves up through counseling, authentically shared with friends, etc. The kind where one person says to another, in essence, We’re done. I deserve to be happy. I want a chance at another life. We’ve never been compatible. This is not open for discussion. Everyone will eventually get over it and move on.

How does someone go from wanting to read the Bible every morning, serving on a worship team, mentoring other men in their marriages, professionally counseling couples, and leading in the church to walking away from friends and faith?

It’s not a trick question. It might seem bewildering, and perhaps I can’t trace each step away, but I can with confidence say that it happens one choice at a time. Some of the choices are big and some are small. There is a lot of rationalization and deception. There is a shift from others to self, from humility to pride.

I say all of this with no malice or disgust. In fact, as I type, compassion wells up within me and I weep, because the pain and consequences such series of choices invite are harsh. The ripple effects are devastating to many, but that’s not the point of today’s post.

Someone needs to read this today.

One choice at a time. It’s that simple. No matter where you are right now, one choice at a time will take you somewhere else. And we want to be somewhere else, because we want to grow. But not every choice leads to growth. Whatever choices you face today – big or small – have consequences. Consider what you’re stepping away from and what you’re stepping toward. Reflect on what you’re filling your life with. Invite others into your life who will keep you in check and do the highs and the lows of life with you. Be authentic. Seek truth. Choose well.

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