My Life with God

To Help or Repel

photo-1517917822086-6988b4ca9b31How can we help without repelling someone?

I considered my options. I wanted to reach out to a friend I sensed was struggling, but I thought she might be a bit sensitive. Sometimes the strongest people are. Or perhaps it is more defensive than sensitive.

I didn’t want to push her away. We had some experiences with accountability between us, but moving from “Are you okay?” to “I’m pretty sure you’re not okay. Want to talk?” can put up an instant wall.

How can we help without repelling someone?

Sometimes we can’t.

But we can stand firmly on truth and trust God’s timing. I took a breath, paused, and decided to wait a little longer before reaching out.

I also know and have experienced delays can make matters worse.

Sometimes, no matter what you do or when you do it, the other person will still shush you, get angry, or walk away. Many times, that reaction comes from a repelling of truth, not you personally. When someone determines to make themselves at home in deception and rationalization, the truth seems foreign and unwanted. Perhaps it scares them, and their response is to lash out. They don’t want to be “found out” so they push away. Or the truth is so foreign, it is distasteful.

When upside down seems right side up for too long, the real right side up feels wonky.

You cannot control or predict how someone will respond, but you can trust God to lead as you wait or speak up, then deal with the consequences.

I’m certainly glad I trusted him each step as I reached out to my friend and had some important conversations.

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