I had a good, relaxing couple of days, but I woke up feeling unsettled. I had a several-hour-drive to make, and I’d gotten up early. Perhaps that’s why I was feeling a bit sensitive. Or maybe it was more than that. I felt sad, even a bit depressed. Every now and then, a few tears fell. But I couldn’t pinpoint what was happening. I felt heavily burdened and cloudy. The world seemed dark despite the sun shining brightly. My mind and heart tossed and turned, and I knew I had to get a grip on what was going on. I needed to step away.
I decided to give it all to God and let him sort through it. Don’t assume it was a deeply spiritual decision. Instead of an intentional baton pass, it was more like a desperate lob, as if to say, “I’m clueless. And I’m tired. It’s yours, God, and you can hand it back if you make a bit more sense of it or let me know what to do next.”
I went on with my day and didn’t give it much thought until the middle of the afternoon, when I realized the day was morphing into a series of interruptions. Over and over, God graciously handed me opportunities to interact with others with deep conversations, encouragement, and generosity. One interaction flowed into another, and it seemed as if God stretched time and heightened my alertness despite running on little sleep.
It was a sweet, full day – one I will not forget for quite some time. God took the lob and ran with it. He gave me a fulfilling day with others, and he reminded me of his goodness. The day ended very differently than it began. Except there were still a few tears when I settled into bed. But this time, they were tears of gratitude.