What’s a knee drop moment? It might spur you to think of a mic drop moment, except it has nothing to do with what I’ve done or said.

It’s what I felt when my life was violently fractured. I now have a broader perspective and appreciation for all God did during that season and what he did leading up to that moment. My survival response was to drop to my knees. I was disoriented, but he was steady. I didn’t understand, but I trusted him. Nothing felt certain except for him and core people he placed in my life.

Traumas often get buried or are abundantly clear in some of the details, searing them into our mind and heart and soul. That’s what the majority is to me. I’m not fuzzy about many of the details even years later. The world around me was blurry, the situation was discombobulating, the person standing in front of me was confusing and damaging, but the root of where I was despite what was happening, the intense emotions and hurt, are still remarkably fresh for me.

We often think we have to climb higher and higher for the best perspective, but for me, getting lower was best. Being on my knees, spiritually if not physically, postured me to seek, listen, and take the next step forward.

I don’t wish a knee drop moment on anyone, but in many ways, it’s so much better than a mic drop moment. I’d rather choose humility than pride, growth than stagnancy, integrity than desperation. Knee drop moments are like knee jerk responses. It’s something that happens under certain circumstances, and we don’t have complete control over them. It’s a response based on established patterns. It’s a default.

What are your defaults, and are you okay with them?