We typically want to focus on who we are now. The past pops up, and people remind us it’s not about who we were but who we’ve become. Or we’re discouraged with today, and people tell us it’s not where we are but where we’re going. And these are reflections of grace and redemption. However, we can always twist these into something they aren’t. Our motivation matters, whether we’re dealing with ourselves or encouraging others.

We want to mask or diminish things we don’t like in the past by reminding ourselves the past doesn’t matter. When we’re focused on the now, we need to be aware of how we are handling what has happened in the past, good and bad. Some people stand on their laurels of the past and find false confidence or status. Others want to put the past behind them, but they think anyone who brings it up isn’t letting them move forward. That might not be the case. If someone hasn’t healthily dealt with their past, they’ve carried the negative effects on themselves and others into today. These are the consequences of the unresolved past. It doesn’t mean such issues cannot be resolved in a myriad of ways. But it takes intentional effort. It’s not just about themselves and their today but other people with whom they have relationships.

Then there is the hope for tomorrow. It’s great to have goals of growing, but we can’t excuse what’s happening in our today and believe something will magically transport us to that place we anticipate. Growth takes effort. Change can be daunting as we face what is needed at times, but we simply start where we are and take a step—not because someone else tells us the next steps although it certainly helps. We need people we can trust. We like people who will affirm us and provide comfort. Those are good things at times in our lives but not in isolation, not without truth and accountability. And that’s where our past, present, and future come together.

We don’t want to be stuck, but we also don’t want to move too slowly or too quickly. We need to stay and steep at times. We need truth and accountability. We need some continuity. We need to involve more than just the easy people in our lives. We need to share more than the pretty pieces of our lives. We need our past, present, and future. We never fully know any one of those periods of time. We can handle different levels of healing and planning as we grow. So we look back and we look forward. We question what we’ve assumed. We solidify what we confirm. We keep our minds open to the entirety of our lives as we know them, because we can then see patterns and possibilities of who we were, are, and will be.

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