We can lose relationships, truth, and experiences because we take things out of context.

Sometimes we simply misunderstand the context of something, but other times, we refuse to see it. Still others, we place something or someone in a context that we create, because we want to dismiss a person and relationship or to rationalize our own behavior and choices. I was on the receiving end of that when my ex decided to create a context that made sense to him and would support the choices he wanted to make.

And it has had long- and deep-reaching effects.

When we get into a habit of placing things in the context we most want, that becomes our default setting, and we don’t see the dysfunction in it.

I don’t want to mis-remember. I don’t want to distort. I don’t want to avoid truth. I don’t want to create my own context. I don’t want to walk away or distance myself from people because I wasn’t willing to see something in its context.

You might be teetering on the edge of distorting context or concocting your own. Choose well. It can be hard, but do the work. Take your time. Invite others to keep you in check. If you don’t, you might find some temporary relief, but you will be inviting some hurt—for yourself and others—that you are well-equipped to cope with.

Be brave.