I’ve been clear along my Fractured Into Wholeness process that I want to be authentic. I always want to share with truth, in the context of humility and health. And sometimes, that’s difficult. It’s hard to share the rawness while knowing the impact it might have on others. I want what I share to (1) honor God, (2) connect with people, and (2) encourage healthy healing. While I always try to choose well along the way, I struggle at times. Perhaps you can relate.
- I find sadness sprinkled among the joy in my life. I abundantly appreciate my blessings-soaked like, but I recognize the moments I feel as if I’ve driven into a dense and chilling fog.
- I find anger pushing through the peace in my life. It usually involves a way in which my girls and their families are impacted. The mama bear claws rarely come out, because I want to respect their capabilities as adults, but there are some internal roars that rattle me from time to time.
- While I have noticed I uproot some unhealthy growth earlier and earlier in the process as this journey continues, I never want to ignore the possibilities of such things taking root if I’m not attentive: bitterness, resentment, disrespect, blame, and disgust. I’d rather cultivate the beauty in my life, but it’s important to recognize the less desirable remnants that litter the beauty with invasive weeds.
I initially titled this post Flawed on the Journey, but that’s not accurate. These feelings aren’t flawed. What matters is how I respond to them. I never want to push them down and hide them. I regularly see what that does to people and relationships. Nor to I want to enhance them beyond what it healthy or accurate. I want to filter well and keep them in context. I want to acknowledge them then choose next steps well.
Expression matters, and I don’t mean what shows on the outside but what pours out from the inside.